Blizza Blizza

Eric has published a very interesting interview with lead Camino developer Mike Pinkerton. Thanks to Mike for the interview, and congrats to Eric for scoring time with one of the Mac software world’s busiest open-source developers.

At last, we now know the source of the screenplay of the soon-to-be-a-cult-classic Snakes on a Plane.

(Caution: second link is NSFW due to language.)

An unnamed (probably for the best) woman in — where else? — Mecklenburg County, North Carolina is homeless this evening after burning down her house in an attempt to kill some snakes on her porch.

Red Forman Dumbass Rating:

(via Dave “Hurricane Dodger” Barry)

Greg Howard, of Geese Aplenty fame, has a bloody great post about the conflict between the cockamamie theory of so-called “Intelligent Design” and the scientific fact of evolution. One of the comments made an allusion to what has to be the headline of the day:

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory

There is a cricket in my bedroom.

He is very lonely.

Someone get him a fine lady cricket immediately, or get me a big can of Raid, because this noise is driving me nucking futs.

We now return to your irregular and unscheduled blogging.

You might want to think twice about granting a watercraft registration to a replica Viking craft made of 15 million popsicle sticks that some loony thinks he’s going to sail across the Atlantic.

Master Yoda says, “In Robert McDonald’s future, a Darwin Award I sense.”

I’ve somehow managed to avoid seeing the horrid-looking Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo, though I still curse Touchstone for sticking its trailer at the front of High Fidelity every time I watch the DVD. I firmly believe the rest of humanity should join me in my avoidance of this film.

Unfortunately, that quest just got a lot harder, as Columbia Pictures has inexplicably not only financed, but actually consented to distribute and promote, a sequel, unimaginatively titled Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo. (What, did the Olsen twins’ production studio write the title for this crap?) Patrick Goldstein, movie critic for the Los Angeles Times, in a piece about the 2005 Academy Awards’ Best Picture nominees, lambasted Columbia Pictures for passing on several highly decorated movies to produce said sequel, saying:

[Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo] was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.

This did not go unnoticed by Rob Schneider, who apparently took offense at being accused of making a running gag of penis jokes. Schneider took out full-page attack ads in a couple magazines questioning Goldstein’s credibility, notably stating:

Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind … Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers.

Roger Ebert has seen the sequel, and his opinion ain’t pretty. We now get to the quote of the day:

As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

(via Lee, who has his own take on this whole stinky mess)

Fox television producers, take note. You might want to extend an offer of employment to the young son of Richard Walkup, of West Chester, PA. He captured some very impressive photographs of a praying mantis catching and eating a hummingbird in his own backyard.

(via Matt via BoingBoing)

The driver of the car off the trunk of which Darrell Patterson committed Darwinian suicide is being charged with reckless driving.

You know, because it’s the driver’s fault one of his friends is stupid enough to climb up on his moving car try to car-surf on it.

Today’s award goes to Robbin Doolin of Kansas City, MO. Ms. Doolin was driving to work two weeks ago and instead of rolling down her window, she opened her car door so that she could spit.

Ms. Doolin was not wearing a seatbelt.

Choose the most likely outcome of this situation:

A) Ms. Doolin successfully expectorates with no further incident
B) Ms. Doolin successfully expectorates and falls out of the car, removing herself from the gene pool
C) Ms. Doolin successfully expectorates, falls out of the car, failing to remove herself from the gene pool, gets up off the highway, chases her car over an embankment where it is now threatening a construction site, and ends up in the hospital, where she is treated for various injuries to her limbs and head.

If you answered (C), you win the prize.

Red Forman Dumbass Rating:

(via Dave Barry)

Well, here. I’ll just let Mike Spinelli explain it:

A man with a blood alcohol level of .26 stole a Frito-Lay truck in Buffalo, NY, and initially attempted to sell the vehicle and its load of tasty snack foods for $20, though he was apparently talked down [to $5] in his desparation for another beer. Apprehended by authorities after hitting two parked cars, the hapless sap was charged with driving while intoxicated and grand larceny.

Red Forman Dumbass Rating:

(via Jalopnik)

Doubly so because it was on the “Faux” News Channel site:

Absolutely, positively the winner for today is this one, from the Detroit Free Press:

Macomb County busts crack-for-cars trading scheme

And I’m gonna take a wild guess they weren’t trading virtual rides for Virtual Crack.

Today’s award goes to Fred Williams of Battle Creek, who, in all his criminal brilliance, decided to escape from police by ducking into a house.

A house owned and occupied at the time by a former U. S. Marshal.

Mr. Williams is now in jail. Enjoy your stay, Freddie.

Red Forman Dumbass Rating:

Surprisingly, this one isn’t from the BBC, although it’s so far out there that it somehow must be related.

Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief

(via Dave Barry, who would like to remind everyone that unfortunately, no, he really isn’t kidding)