Scientific Idiocy of the Populace

The University of Florida published a study recently indicating that microwaving sponges would kill common bacteria. The news media and general public, however, largely failed to note that the sponges had to be wet.

The home of the Gators has received a bunch of complaints from irate…uhm, “scientific-minded members of the public” who managed to destroy sponges, stink up their houses, and damage their microwaves — after sticking dry sponges in the microwave.

Genius.

posted on 24 January 2007 at 2047d'oh, the humanity0 commentstrackback

I Call Shenanigans

A Northwest Airlines jet departing Detroit for Washington, D.C. this morning was forced to make an emergency return for landing after, well, let them explain it:

The airline says the birds came too close to the airport, causing safety concerns.

Were these radioactive birds the size of cargo planes capable of spearing a 747 with their giant talons? The explanation Northwest gave makes no sense. Jets fly faster than birds, so if these were big, mean, menacing birds that might carry off a grown human, a jet could easily outrun them. Humans tend to be smarter than birds, and birds tend to be scared by loud noises, so the flight crew could have simply waited on the ground until the birds departed the area, or airport ops could have taken action to scare them off.

Northwest is hiding something, and my wildly uninformed speculation, based on the above comment, is that they had a bird strike of some sort on the airplane itself, probably on a windshield, the wing, one of the stabilizers, or an engine (probably an engine). Bird strikes aren’t exactly rare, but they’re rarely dangerous — well, except to the bird! — so I’m puzzled as to why Northwest wouldn’t simply admit the bird strike, if that’s indeed what it was, and I’m even more puzzled as to why they’d give such an obviously B.S. explanation for it.

UPDATE: I’ve just been told by a friend that the above quote is part of Northwest’s standard press release for a bird ingestion in an engine, and WOOD is now confirming bird strike(s) to be the reason the Airbus A319 returned for landing.

posted on 19 January 2007 at 1021aviation0 commentstrackback

Moving to Bangor

That’s it. I am moving to Bangor, Maine, where it is now illegal for adults to smoke in cars where minors are passengers.

Best. Law. Ever.

posted on 19 January 2007 at 0040general1 commentstrackback

Headline of the Year

In a late entry to the “Best of 2006” category, I give you:

Nude wet meat soil bandit caught

It is a tribute to what went on that day that the fact its protagonist is called Colt Langstaff and lives in a town called Cool is by far the most boring thing about this story (which we sincerely hope is true).

We sincerely hope it is true too, because that’s a story for the ages.

posted on 16 January 2007 at 1602humour0 commentstrackback

Dumbass of the Day

This would be a lot funnier if it had happened to someone who had not yet managed to pass on her DNA not once, not twice, but three times. See, survival of the fittest only works if the unfit can’t survive long enough to reproduce.

A 28-year-old California woman is dead of water intoxication after drinking an incredibly large volume of water in a short period of time as part of a radio station’s contest to win a Nintendo Wii.

“I was talking to her and she was a nice lady,” [a fellow contestant] said. “She was telling me about her family and her three kids and how she was doing it for her kids.”

Red FormanRed Forman Dumbass Rating: Eric (Dumbass) Eric (Dumbass) Eric (Dumbass) Eric (Dumbass) Eric (Dumbass)

posted on 14 January 2007 at 0220humour0 commentstrackback

Limerick Time

posted on 10 January 2007 at 1548d'oh, the humanity0 commentstrackback

Geographically Challenged

You’d think a senior vice president in charge of flight operations at a major airline would have a pretty good handle on world geography.

Of course, since I’m posting this here, you’d be wrong.

Tim Rainey, of Northwest:

We had that airplane flying in Asia as far as Singapore and had it in the Atlantic all the way down to Bombay, India.

If anyone can explain what Rainey was trying to say, I’m listening.

posted on 08 January 2007 at 1852humour0 commentstrackback

Dumbasses of the Day

A shared award is presented to these two geniuses, as detailed in a Florida newspaper’s 2006 in review:

An Orange County sheriff’s deputy was in uniform and sitting in his marked patrol car when a man walked up to him an asked if he wanted to buy some cocaine. The deputy said yes, the man pulled out a bag with cocaine and the officer arrested him.

Another man doubted whether the crack cocaine he bought was real, so he asked two uniformed Tampa police officers to verify. They did. It was. He was arrested.

posted on 01 January 2007 at 0122humour0 commentstrackback