Michael Jackson Tells Orphans He Loves Them On tour of Japan
Orphans respond, “We do not love you back. Please keep your 45-year-old hands off us, you dirty man.”
Runners-up include “Jackson plans first outing since trial” (The Digital Spy) and “Michael Jackson Pops Up in Tokyo” (andPOP).
Bald eagles have made a great comeback in the last 50 years, with an estimated 100,000 now living throughout North America. Its close Asian cousin, Steller’s sea eagle, has not been so lucky. Fewer than 5,000 birds survive, and the number is thought to be declining.
Both birds share a similar diet, habitat, and breeding habits. So why is the bald eagle doing so well when the Steller’s sea eagle is in serious trouble?
When the little blue pill was introduced in the Asian market, it destroyed the traditional-medicine aphrodisiac trade almost overnight. Among the aphrodisiacs employed by Asian men was the dried gallbladder of the brown bear. Poachers no longer found it profitable to kill brown bears, resulting in an increase in the juvenile brown bear population. Juvenile brown bears have not yet grown too big to climb trees, where they prey on Steller’s sea eagle nests, limiting the breeding success of the Steller’s population.
Fellow ATPM staffer Wes Meltzer has penned a brilliant ode to the hamburger.
Now I kinda want one, although like Wes, I really shouldn’t.
Mmmm…burger…</Homer>
Sometimes I wonder if anyone working at the local NBC affiliate has any journalism training at all:
Driver identified in rollover accident fails to, well, identify the driver, and merely re-hashes the 35 earlier stories WOOD has published on their site about the crash.
Today’s award goes to the Sydney Morning Herald:
Jimmy Franklin was a right crazy man, God rest his soul, but I think E. J. Potter takes the cake. He’s riding a jet engine with wheels, fer chrissakes!
The Cleveland Cavaliers’ defense lived up to the adjectival definition of their nickname last night against the Detroit Pistons, getting utterly shellacked by a score of 113-86. At one point, the Pistons led by 37. At another point, the Pistons were shooting 60-plus percent from the field, 92 percent from the free throw line, and a stunning 92 percent from three-point range.
Mitch Albom normally wields the golden pen over at the Detroit Free Press, but for this matchup, the quote of the day goes to Michael Rosenberg:
Cleveland coach Mike Brown can stay up all night watching film, drawing up plays and holding a séance with James Naismith. Unless he convinces Ben Wallace to retire, his team can’t win this series.
Eric pointed me to an article about some renovations Ball State is doing to one of their dining halls next year, and it mentioned something about a “gas-fired woodstove oven”.
I hate emo appliances, don’t you?
I had to read the headline twice when it ran by my RSS reader tonight, but it’s absolutely not a typo:
According to Google Calculator, 45 litres is a hair under 12 US gallons. Water weighs about eight pounds per gallon, so we’re talking a 100-lb backpack when it’s full.
Isn’t this taking the Camelbak idea a wee bit too far? Does anyone really want to carry around nearly a half-barrel of beer on his back?
Oh wait. I think I just found the market for this ridiculous contraption.
BBSpot got a great BBlooper submission today: Where not to get flight training.
Gotta love Google’s context-targeted ads.
