Dumbass of the Day

A thus-far-anonymous motorcyclist from the burgeoning metropolis of Quincy, Michigan is in custody -- and the hospital -- this evening after losing control of his (are you ready for this?) unregistered and uninsured motorcycle that he was riding without a helmet or motorcycle endorsement on a suspended license...while drunk.

Red FormanRed Forman Dumbass Rating: Hyde (Dumbass) Hyde (Dumbass) Hyde (Dumbass) Hyde (Dumbass)

posted on 01 September 2009 at 23260 commentstrackback

You're Doing It Wrong

In an entry about a bicycle headlight (a $500 bicycle headlight, I should note) on the excellent Cool Tools site:

In the winter I mountain bike one to two nights a week after dark on fast technical single track trails.

OK, where do I start? Ah yes: "In the winter I mountain bike".

I can only assume the person writing this does not live anywhere north of, say, the Mason-DIxon line, because anyone living in the Midwest or Rockies or Northeast knows damned well that riding a bike in two feet of snow is not only impossible but suicidal if you go anywhere near cars.

Continuing on with "one to two nights a week after dark": I understand work schedules are work schedules and it gets dark at four in the afternoon in December, but c'mon, man.

Then we come to "on fast technical single track trails". Yeah, you should probably have your head examined. If God wanted you to ride bikes on terrain like that at night in the winter, He would have given you better eyes.

I love biking and getting outdoors, but I'm not anywhere near crazy enough to spend $500 on a headlight just so I can go bombing around difficult, rocky trails in the middle of the night. You better make sure you have the local ambulance service on speed-dial, because the Magic Eight-Ball sees a trip to the ER in your near future.

I'd be more than happy to spend $500 on a light if it kept all the crazies in cars from running over me, though.

posted on 07 February 2009 at 21460 commentstrackback

Attention, LA Cyclists

Watch out for idiot bus drivers on Hollywood Boulevard.

The bus driver backs up, turns the bus into the boulevard and comes back at the cyclist who is now standing behind his bike. She comes a bit faster and pushes the bus against the cyclist until the bike is now wedged under the right front bumper of the bus.

Yeah, seriously. The bus driver first honked at the cyclist, then told him he had no right to the road, then ran over his bike. Twice.

And the LAPD, in their infinite wisdom, have said the cyclist may be the one to receive a ticket and have taken no action whatsoever against the bus driver, who obviously doesn't have any business with a driver's license as she doesn't understand the rules of the road.

posted on 24 September 2007 at 17390 commentstrackback

Abso-freakin-lutely Brilliant!

From the God of Gonzo himself, Hunter S. Thompson, comes the brilliant piece of prose entitled "Song of the Sausage Creature".

(via Jalopnik)

posted on 02 August 2006 at 21320 commentstrackback

Here's to the Crazy Ones

Jimmy Franklin was a right crazy man, God rest his soul, but I think E. J. Potter takes the cake. He's riding a jet engine with wheels, fer chrissakes!

posted on 08 May 2006 at 21390 commentstrackback

My Kind of Motorcycle

Combining 2/9 of a radial aircraft engine with some Boeing 767 tires gets you a Leonhardt V-twin custom, which is taking the whole "theme bike" thing to a new level. I love it.

(via The Kneeslider)

posted on 08 January 2006 at 13070 commentstrackback