Hypocrisy 101

Setting: a man and his wife are sitting at the breakfast table in their residential bungalow.

MAN: I wish those bloody bells would stop.
WIFE: Oh, it’s quite nice dear. It’s Sunday. It’s the church!
MAN: What about us atheists? Why should we ‘ave to listen to that sectarian turmoil?
WIFE, interrupting: You’re a lapsed atheist, dead.
MAN: The principle’s the same. The Mohammedans don’t come ‘round ‘ere wavin’ bells at us. We don’t get Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathroom, or Hindus harmonising in the hall. The Shintoists don’t come here shattering sheetglass in the shithouse, shouting slogans…
WIFE, interrupting again: All right, don’t practise your alliteration on me!

You’ve gotta be kidding me. I can understand the concern about noise, but the mosque is in a business district, and the church right across the street rings its bells five or more times a day already.

Woe to you, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which on the outside look beautiful, but inside they are full of the bones of the dead and of all kinds of filth. So you also on the outside look richteous to others, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Matthew 23:27-28, NRSV

posted by Chris on 20 April 2004 at 2150 in humour


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