Introducing a new category (the name refers to a Simpsons comic book scene) here at the blog are the following two stories of people who are almost certainly Classier Than You Could Ever Hope To Be:
A single mother of a 15-year-old girl in Muskegon, Michigan, has been charged with child abuse after coming to an arrangement with her daughter to provide sexual satisfaction to the mother’s boyfriend while the mother recuperated from surgery.
Meanwhile, former Ohio State (Buck the Fuckeyes!) running back-turned-NFL-draft-bust-turned-common-street-thug Maurice Clarett was arrested and Maced by police in Ohio after a prolonged police chase. Officers initially attempted to use a stun gun on Clarett, but it was ineffective due to Clarett’s bulletproof vest. Inside Clarett’s SUV, police found four loaded guns. Oh yeah, and he was arrested near the home of a witness scheduled to testify against him in his upcoming aggravated robbery trial.
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