For Sale: Pithy Sayings?

Everybody hates spam, even the spammers. I don’t tolerate it well in general, but at least when I get spam attempting to sell me “Ultra Allure Pheromones” or “A blonde screaming hard after a orgasm” or “BUY WINDOWS XP FOR $49.95!”, I can understand the motivation behind it. That sort of spam is like the nerdy kid everyone picked on in school who finally snaps and starts picking people off from the clock tower. You don’t agree with what he did, but you can understand where he’s coming from.

Then there’s the Hitler spam. Like Hitler’s irrational hatred of anything not Aryan, nobody understands what the hell the purpose of it is. Case in point:

Subject: you sample is augment

Possible Interpretation: Finishing a task quickly is not about rushing. That I have no time for A beer a day keeps the germs away. Money is honey and the richman jocks is always funny The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Honesty is the best policy. Possible interpretation: forbidden things are the most tempting (Biblical origin) Practice does not make perfect but a perfect practice makes perfect.

There’s no time like the present. Waste not, want not. When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Possible Interpretation: fancy way of saying that we should play as a team and not as individual players

What, pray tell, is the purpose in sending that message? It isn’t trying to sell me software, penis pills, or Asian shemale donkey porn. It’s not trying to infect my computer with a virus and replicate itself across the Internet. It’s just wasting bandwidth, which accomplishes…nothing. It doesn’t really add substantially to the cost of Internet service (the amount of bandwidth wasted transmitting that message was negligible), it doesn’t tie up my connection, and it doesn’t burden my ISP’s servers any more than a commercial spam would.

If you’re going to be a cancer on the Internet, at least try to make yourself a buck in the process. Being a cancer just to be a cancer is a good reason for people to hang you from tall buildings by your toenails and slowly gouge out your vital organs with a wooden spoon. Just sayin’.

posted by Chris on 15 November 2006 at 2016 in computing


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