News Quickies

The FDA plans to define “low-carb” by summer, in an attempt to bring some semblance of order to the current mess in supermarkets across the country.

Child-porn charges against R. Kelly have been dropped in Florida for want of evidence. The judge ruled most of the photographic evidence inadmissible due to insufficient evidence provided when the search warrant was issued. This follows closely on the heels of Chicago-area prosecutors dropping several charges against him there relating to the infamous video tape that allegedly shows Kelly in, uh, “compromising positions” with a then-14-year-old girl.

A French motorist has been sentenced in the attempted vehicular manslaughter of a pedestrian the motorist claimed looked like Osama bin Laden. He was ordered to seek counseling and pay a 500-Euro fine.

Utah has banned execution by firing squad, leaving lethal injection as the only means of capital punishment. There have to be Mormon and SCO jokes in there somewhere…

Bill Clinton’s boyhood home, at 321 East 13th Street, Hope, Arkansas, is for sale on eBay, where bidding has surpassed $216,000 as of this post. Mildly overweight interns and large desk are not included.

Finally, the Detroit Pistons are after a record. A ‘fro-fearing record. The team plans to distribute 5,000 red, white, and blue wigs to fans under the age of 15 at its home game against Denver this Friday in an attempt to set the Guinness World Record for “most people wearing wigs in a single venue.”

Fear the ‘Fro.

posted by Chris on 17 March 2004 at 1706 in general

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