Fifth Grade Fart Games

Remember “Doorknob,” the game where you yelled “doorknob!” when someone farted, and they had to touch a doorknob or you could hit them until they did so? Or if they knew they were gonna fart and not be able to get away with it, they could yell “Safety!” and you couldn’t call “Doorknob” on them?

Aw, c’mon, you know you played it…

Anyway, I just want to say that they FINALLY put a new doorknob on my apartment. Yes, it’s been a week and a half. I know. I came home this afternoon and saw the maintenance tag hanging on the knob and thought to myself, “Great! They finally fixed it! Maybe I’ll actually pay my April rent on time now!”

So I went inside and ate some dinner. I got ready to leave to go back to work to grade some papers, and as I pulled the apartment door shut, get this:

The stupid fucking worthless piece of shit $3 Wal-Mart doorknob came off in my hand. And my apartment was still locked.

AAAAAAARRRRGH! I’m gonna break the maintenance guy’s face next time I see him. Fuckin idiot.

posted by Chris on 26 March 2003 at 2247 in apartment

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